Oh boy, when I saw that the two search terms that lead to this blog yesterday were “fuck a nigga up” and, wait for it, “shit bananas“, I knew I had to post about it. There’s some bizarre search terms that have been used to locate this blog, here are the first couple of pages of them with the absolutely batshit ones in bold for your amusement:
So I was maining Ken for a while having fun with his bad self. It didn’t take long before the frustration due to his design set in. He is worse than Ryu in every way besides how cool his taunts are.
Ryu’s Ultra >>>>>>>>>> Ken’s Ultra. You can combo into Ryu’s so fucking easily it’s a joke. Any trade leaves everyone open. Can you say the same about Ken’s? Can you fuck. Sure, you can combo into it but it doesn’t even allow for the full ultra, just a ghetto ass run through of the last few hits.
Ryu’s fireball recovery >>>>>>>>>>> Ken’s. Basically makes using fireballs against Ryu’s completely pointless other than to neutralise theirs.
Ryu’s super >>>>>>>>>>>> Ken’s. When would you ever use Ken’s super? Seriously, when? When my ass pours the blood of Christ, that’s when.
Ken >>>>>>>>>> Ryu. This is some tragic shit right here. Ken is cooler than Ryu, immensely so. And yet he’s useless compared to him in this game. Normally I don’t pay any attention to tiers but fuck it, this time I jumped the shark. And Ryu’s growing on me anyway now so sue me.
Haven’t updated this in a while due to mad mad study shit, so just thought I’d update this right now with the announcement that I have been training with Ken and plan to make him my new main. Over the past few months I started off with Akuma, then went to Dhalsim and now Ken looks to be the new main. Some observations about these characters I’ve learned from maining them:
Akuma: To get anywhere with Akuma, you really have to be a master of execution, moreso than any other character due to his low stamina. As soon as you fuck up, half your life is gone. Not main material for me then as my execution is not perfect. Suits FAST pace play.
Dhalsim: No need for any complex execution or combos. Ideal for spacing games and zoning. Really really fun to play with, but again, as soon as you make a mistake, you’re dead. Suits SLOW pace play.
Ken: Still getting to grips with him but from what I see, I like. Very all round character and my first main that doesn’t have ridiculously low stamina. Suits MEDIUM to FAST pace play. Bingo!
If you don’t know TheKingKindred aka TKK, then you JUST DON’T KNOW. The first time I heard of him was through the online scene where he smashed one of the big names there, FREE1UP. But it’s only really since he beat the man everyone loves to hate, DSP, into the ground, he’s really blown up and made a big name for himself. I’d like to see him go into offline play and enter into the big tournaments. The man is a BEAST at Street Fighter IV.
Here he is handing my ass to me:
Match one: SO DISAPPOINTED I didn’t take the first round, really thought I had it in the bag
Match two:Well the less said about that the better…
Match three: Ok so this guy clearly knows how to fight Dhalsim, so I thought I’d switch it up a little. Got KO’d in the silliest way by a maverick hadouken and that was me done in the first round. Second round, I just got rushed down so hard I couldn’t think.
Hey hey, haven’t updated in a while for two reasons.
I’ve been playing mad ROMS on MAME
I GOT A TE STICK FINALLY OH FUCK YEAH. BUH!
Suck on its dick or cock
I’m still getting used to the motherfucker. As a fightpad player, the gameplay is completely different with the stick. First of all, dashes feel unfamiliar like gravy on gimpshit. I notice with the pad that when you press a directional button, there’s more resistance and buck back. With a stick, you get none of that, so it’s kind of awkward for a while. One thing you notice immediately though is the buttons…my GOD the buttons. These things are more sensitive than a clit on crack. One touch and BAM! Your input is registered. Sometimes I’ll be in the menus and accidentally EVER SO SLIGHTLY brush a button and CLICK. INPUT MOTHERFUCKER. It’s almost frightening and I can only assume it’s witchcraft. Some evil-hex-Satan stick shit, son. So obviously, this makes pulling off certain links and combos so much easier, thank God.
But it’s not all fun and games. I’ve said or thought “Fuck this game. I HATEStreet Fighter IV” more times than I can count lately. It’s all about getting used to the stick you see, drumming it into your neurology so muscle memory can take over and you stop thinking OH WHERE’S THE HK BUTTON AGAIN?? OH EM GEE KO’D FUCK THIS GAME.
Another furious man who can't seem to get used to his stick.
After a couple days you start looking at the situation like the band Anthrax. You just want the old singer back, much like you just want to use the pad again. But no, you’ve seen a reunion where he couldn’t hold and note any more because he’s just so old and awful now and you think FUCK IT, I’m not letting this shit win over me AND I need a shit which I’ll go for after the next match, so you persist with the stick.
And fuck me, play is so much better with the stick. Things start making sense after a week or two. I’m still not 100% used to it yet but I’m getting there. Fuck the hurdle, it can suck my tits.
Important notice: When I searched “furious man” in google images I got this on the second page. That’s some furious anal openage right there. Shit is bananas.
So today I’ve been participating in the Impact ‘09 SFIV tournament in Glasgow. Let me tell you, that was some coooooooooold shit. Around 50 participants, presumably the best in Scotland, and a few loud motherfuckers from England too, no doubt attracted by the pretty sweet (£1000 in total) prize money up for grabs.
I arrive there around 10am and register myself. I take a look around at the competition. The place has an intense smell of sweat. Time to get some practice in. I wait around in the casual play area until a place becomes free. The first guy I spar with plays a mean Balrog. I beat him a few times. He switches to Gen and beats me a few times. The next guy sits down and we play some Akuma mirror matches and we’re pretty even. Next guy comes and I try out my sub, Dhalsim. I get raped. It dawns on me that these are all top level guys and I’m the only guy there with a Fightpad.
When the tournament officially starts, I’m in the last group of the group stages and so have to wait around for half an hour or so, with a keen eye on the screens, downing Red Bull.
My name is called out. I face a Honda. I was quite a while since my last chance to play so I felt pretty rusty. I lose.
“Mehorn”; I face a Bison. Here’s one round of the match for your viewing pleasure:
“Must remember to stop throwing red fireballs at Bison.”
I realise that no one in the group is going to use Blanka and almost shit with relief. Next I face a Ryu and approach with caution as I saw the guy beating fuck into others beforehand. I win the first round and it puts me completely ‘in the zone’. I win the next by baiting a jump and landing an ultra.
I’m called again to play a Ken. Can’t really remember anything about this match but I won.
Out of my group, only the two in the group with the most wins could go through to the next round. So out of 50 people, only 16 or something were going through. I wasn’t sure on the exact numbers but I knew I needed the next win to at least have a chance of going through.
I face the meanest fucking Viper I’ve ever seen. I saw this guy win every match he was placed in. This motherfucker was COLD. First round, he rapes me. Second round, I land an ultra to win and hear “OH!!” from the onlookers. Exciting stuff. Next round is close, so close that I almost get too excited. He wins the second round and takes the match. Gutted! I tell him his Viper is fucking awesome and he tells me that he was getting really nervous on the last round.
Some pics from the event:
Practice play
This guy is the Viper that rapes. If he didn't win the whole tourament I'd be amazed. COLD.
I will be updating this category with how it’s going, new developments etc, mainly as a tool to make sure I do actually practice but feel free to enetertain yourself with it.
I believe it’s important to always note why you lost. If not in writing then at least mentally. This is my first in a series of post-match-post-mortems in which I have lost. Each number refers to a fight where I have lost. Feel free to join the fuck in.
15/08/09
I crumpled him into focus attack but forgot to dash in order to get the demon. Must remember to dash after crumple. INSTANT HELL MURDER.
I kept fucking up the link between s.HK and c.MK into hadouken, resulting in me just standing there, inactive after the s.HK.
Improper knowledge or practice of the Vega match-up.
Faced a really good Balrog, not sure exactly why I lost.
